Writing Code

Today's an edgy day in the cubicle. Maybe it's the weather. Or the budget. Or the reorganization. Or the extra summer staff. Whatever.

I've found myself using some code regardless. We all have code, mostly to keep our jobs, marriages, and police record intact. If I weren't so edgy today, I'd say that code is a kinder, gentler way of communicating. But it's really just intended to keep me from creating a wider splatter pattern than necessary.

Here's some of my code... if anybody READS this nearly-nonexistent blog, add some of your own--with explanations if necessary.

Thanks for your input. (Next time keep it to yourself.)

Help me understand... (...why you're not so smart.)

Tell me more about what you mean by "it doesn't work". (Or let me just wave my magic wand over it and "fixit" for you.)

Are you sure this is an argument worth havin'? (Think carefully, because if I'm askin', I can guarantee it's not worth what it's ultimately going to cost.)

I can hear you over my headphones. (Shut up.)

"strongly suggest" (In any sentence, that means you better damn well do it my way.)

What if we thought about that in a different way? (Let's try one that makes sense this time.)

Why, no, officer, I didn't know I was speeding. (Because my speedometer doesn't go that high...)

I'd like to promise I'm going to post more often, but it's summer. Although things are usually curiouser in the summer, so maybe.